life........
an actual update
i feel like i can be more honest in here than i can in ramblings. i almost think i'm bipolar or something, but then we all are to an extent aren't we?
it hasn't been a good day so far. it's not that anything majorly bad has happened. it's the normal/frequent crap that's snowballing into an all out hellish day. i'm working on being happy. i just can't do it. i don't want to.
the boss is out for the day. she needed to rest. wtf? and the rest of us don't? the staff went out for starbucks this morning. i had liquid chocolate. yummy. the caffine hasn't kicked in.
i'm dwelling on my unhappiness. phantom of the opera isn't helping like it normally does. today i feel the pain of the phantom. his hopelessness. his frustration at not being able to change his circumstances. his desire to fight for love, yet being unable to do so. the finality and resignation when he finally releases christine to be with raoul. i guess i feel that way a lot. i spend so much time fighting for what i want and then when i finally am able to hold onto it, i realize that it was never mine to begin with and then i have to let it go. but the glimmer of happiness is almost worth it. maybe not. hell, i should just give up.
aparently my dress in inappropriate today. i have on a skirt, heels, tank top and sweeter. how the crap can i get anymore "business casual"? yes, i realize that the tank top is "wrinkled". whatever. i would like to point out that it is crinkled silk and supposed to be this way. f*%& everone. i like it.
anyway... i have to go pop popcorn for lunch. see you all later.
i feel like i can be more honest in here than i can in ramblings. i almost think i'm bipolar or something, but then we all are to an extent aren't we?
it hasn't been a good day so far. it's not that anything majorly bad has happened. it's the normal/frequent crap that's snowballing into an all out hellish day. i'm working on being happy. i just can't do it. i don't want to.
the boss is out for the day. she needed to rest. wtf? and the rest of us don't? the staff went out for starbucks this morning. i had liquid chocolate. yummy. the caffine hasn't kicked in.
i'm dwelling on my unhappiness. phantom of the opera isn't helping like it normally does. today i feel the pain of the phantom. his hopelessness. his frustration at not being able to change his circumstances. his desire to fight for love, yet being unable to do so. the finality and resignation when he finally releases christine to be with raoul. i guess i feel that way a lot. i spend so much time fighting for what i want and then when i finally am able to hold onto it, i realize that it was never mine to begin with and then i have to let it go. but the glimmer of happiness is almost worth it. maybe not. hell, i should just give up.
aparently my dress in inappropriate today. i have on a skirt, heels, tank top and sweeter. how the crap can i get anymore "business casual"? yes, i realize that the tank top is "wrinkled". whatever. i would like to point out that it is crinkled silk and supposed to be this way. f*%& everone. i like it.
anyway... i have to go pop popcorn for lunch. see you all later.
posted by Sara Beth at 12:27 PM
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