Fuck life

I'm so fucking pissed at myself right now. WTF? So I had to get fucking hooked on VVC again didn't I? It has to be responsible for all of this crap. Just once, at least that's what I told myself. But no. Now I'm hooked. This fucking withdraw. I had to drink myself into all out trashed land to keep from taking more. It's worse that I actaully carried it on me. I shouldn't have. I mean honestly. I have no interst in food. I'm tired all the time. I'm havign thoughts that I really shouldn't be having and I'm blacking out. This is all way too familiar for me. I need to get off this shit now. I'm flushing it when I get home. I have to, for my sanity.